I'm currently writing this book. Is this good?
The hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling.
Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, he
he hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling.
Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, her mom would start a long conversation about “if you don’t have the grades, Mabel, you may never get into Harvard. You need to take education seriously. Now go study and promise me a better test next time.” Mabel would nod her head and run off to her room. Mabel knew it was because of that.
Noah, Mabel’s best friend since kindergarten, was cool and never shy. In be fact, Mabel would be totally jealous of her because on top of being a straight-B student, she was cute, friendly, funny, and had adorable style. Hmm…what if Robert likes Noah? Mable wondered to herself. She was stunned. “Noah, do you think that I’m…you know, geeky?” Noah looked down at the floor. “Um…well, you’re not that geeky, you’re just…” Mabel interrupted, “Nerdy?” Noah nearly yelled out “Yes!” Mabel stared her. She was right. The two headed to the girls bathroom.
“Are you sad?” asked Noah as she applied mascara and pink eye shadow. Mabel finished tying her shoes and let out a calm “No.” Noah smiled and said, “Perfect! My make up is so perfect. No smudges, no colors getting mixed up!” Mabel giggled, “Your pink eye shadow doesn’t match your dark red lips”. Noah grinned and started to sing “Ain’t no other man”. “You look and sing just like a miniature Christina Aguilera!” Mabel said while putting on nail polish. There was no one else in the bathroom and they felt relaxed. Rrrrring! “Oh my gosh! We’re gonna be late!” Noah struggled to pack up her cosmetics in her purple pouch. “Wait!”, screamed Noah, “my lips got smudged!” Mabel sighed. Why was it that Mabel only needed nail polish to feel beautiful while Noah needed the whole enchilada? Noah finally found a light shade of lavender and wiped it all over her lips. She put on a coat of her signature vanilla Lip Smacker. They rushed out of the bathroom and into the classroom. The teacher stared at them. He was a bald man with round, black glasses and he had on a button-down shirt, a tie with prancing elves, and tuxedo pants. “You girls got lucky. Class starts in one more minute but everyone else came early. Guess they’re all excited about stepping up and becoming seventh graders.” They took the seats in the front next to each other. A couple seconds later, the teacher announced “Five, four, three…”
Amber, Raquel, Ashley, and Anna rushed in right when he was going to say “two”. Mabel and Noah looked at each other and mouthed the words “popular girls”. This group is even worse than all the bullies. These girls were so preppy and girly and Amber was the head of them. It was her who said what do and what not to do and everyone else in her crew did exactly what she said and she treated them like servants. They even wore matching clothes and today, it was plaid Bermuda shorts, sparkly tank tops, and ballet flats. The group took the seats right next to Robert. Amber worked up her charm and flirted with Robert. Mabel grunted and played around with the key chain in the pocket of her hoodie. “No more being a nerd,” she whispered to herself. Apparently, Noah heard and winked. She then whispered, “Good idea, Mabel!” The teacher cleared his voice and in a soft therapist voice said, “Hello students. My name is Mr. Smith and I’m going to be your history teacher.” Everyone stared at him as if he was speaking another language. As always, Mabel knew that Mr. Smith would be a great teacher.
Mr. Smith pulled out a box of textbooks and passed them out. “Everyone, please to turn to page 6. Please silently read this section on ancient Egypt.” Everyone got right to work and started reading while Mr. Smith sat down at his desk. He jotted down things on a notebook.
Half an hour later, when everyone was finished reading, he passed out slips of paper to everyone. “Please put your slip into the hat on my desk”, he pointed to his desk “we will be starting our ancient Egypt projects and now we are picking partners.” Mabel’s heart started pounding. The only way that Robert could notice me is if I worked with him on a project, she thought. “The first pair is Rachel and Chris.” Mable was shocked. Who knew Rachel, the sophisticated wannabe-lawyer would wound up with the kid who did arm farts in front of the teacher? “The next pair is Noah and Robert.” Mabel almost cried. How could this be? But then she calmed down. What if she used Noah to ask Robert some questions about what kind of girl he was into? Hmmm…maybe Noah was more useful than giving bad makeovers. Mr. Smith glanced up at the clock. “Whoops! Time is running out! I better assign partners and fast!”, he said in a cartoon voice. “Harold and Mabel. Thomas and Amber. Tiffany and Raquel. Anna and Mohammed. Ashley and David.” Mabel felt like dying. How could she possibly be stuck with Harold, the boy who picks his nose and eats a plain sandwich with a massive dallop of mayonnaise and a pickle or two to top it off. Mabel never forgot the time when he shoved one of his icky sandwiches up her throat. She barfed and had to go home early.
After history class, Mabel went to the bathroom while Noah went to ask Mr. Smith some questions about the project. Mabel was upset that Noah got to be Robert’s partner. Noah barged into the girl’s bathroom. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” groaned Noah. Mabel just applied some lip-gloss and looked the other way. Noah frowned. Mabel then smacked her lips and blew her nails. “Mabel, you can’t give me the silent treatment forever. Now, tell me why you’re so mad.” Mabel cleared her throat, “Why do you get to be Robert’s partner and I don’t?” Noah looked at Mabel as if she was stupid. “Mabel, the whole partner-picking thing was random, so I didn’t get to choose.” Mabel rolled her yes, “So what? I’m still mad.” Noah started to get angry and shouted, “Its not my fault!” Mabel stared at her. Mabel had never seen Noah erupt before. She must have really pressed Noah’s buttons, but she didn’t care, or at least pretended not to care. Mabel finally got the message: Noah might actually like Robert. “Wait a minute,” said Mabel “you like Robert.” Noah was silent. “Do you like Robert?” Mabel demanded. Noah nodded her head. Mabel started crying. Noah approached Mabel and hugged her. Noah whispered, “Are we still friends?” Mabel wiped her tears and said, “I don’t know.” Mabel left the bathroom, slamming the door, and went off to English class. Luckily, Mabel didn’t have English class with Noah so she would have to deal with Noah passing notes asking, “Are we still friends?” Mabel knew this because this happened last year.
English class was pretty quiet without Noah yelling out answers and whispering jokes about Mrs. Renoldi. Mrs. Renoldi was an old-fashioned lady who probably still believed it was the 1900’s. In a turtleneck sweater, shiny silver pants, loafers, poofy hair, a red and green headband, and novelty earrings, she was the nerdiest teacher in the whole school. After English class, Mabel went over to get her science book from her locker to study at lunch. Noah had slipped a note into Mabel’s locker:
Dear Mabel,
I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I mean, it’s not my fault that I have a crush on Robert. Besides, its not like I’m going to flirt with him or something.
-Noah
Mabel carefully studied the note. Wow…Noah even used the blue gel pen I gave her last year , thought Mabel. She did feel bad about being mad at Noah for no reason. She wanted to forgive her, but she wasn’t sure yet. She pulled out her science book and her wrinkled up paper bag and headed over to the cafeteria. Lunch just wasn’t the same without Noah. Mabel had a peanut butter sandwich, homemade brownies, orange juice, and an apple. She glumly ate lunch. She wondered where Noah was sitting. She glanced through the whole cafeteria until finally she spotted Noah. Mabel gasped and choked on a chunk of the apple. There was Noah sitting with Amber, Ashley, Raquel, and Anna laughing it up right in front of Mabel. Mabel felt gullible to even want to forgive Noah. Noah was trying to make Mabel jealous and it worked. Mabel thought of a plan to embarrass Noah for life.
The next day, Mabel completely ignored Noah and Noah ignored her back. Mabel was lonely while Noah flaunted herself with the “popular girls”. During history class, Mabel watched as Noah smiled and blushed right in front of Robert. That’s when Mabel realized that he really did like Noah. “Want to eat lunch with me?” he said to Noah. The whole class gasped. The star of the football team and the preppy, happy girl…eating lunch…together?
Mabel watched as Noah and Robert giggled at lunch. They seemed as though they’ve known each other forever. Mabel couldn’t stand it. She walked over to where Noah was sitting and dumped milk all over her head. Noah screamed. Noah went running like a dog with a tail on fire. And Robert frowned. “What the heck, you geek?!” he shouted. Mabel stared at him, feeling the tears slipping out of her eyes. A geek? Great, now I know he thinks I’m a geek, she thought. Mabel took her wrinkled up paper bag with an apple core and half of the sandwich and walked out of the cafeteria. She went to her locker and stared at herself in the mirror of her locker. She checked herself. What was so geeky about her?
Moments later, she realized what was nerdy. Square black glasses that were so big that they took up half of her face. A piggy nose. Red and blue braces. A button down cotton shirt. Plaid trousers. Socks up to the knee. Maybe if she stretched them, they’d cover her whole leg. And red low top Converse. She felt the word in her mind. That word. Geek. Its time to stop being a geek once and for all, she thought.
Chapter 2
Mabel looked at herself in the mirror in the morning and smiled. “No more being a geek!” she screamed in delight. As she walked through the hallway at school, she finally knew that being a geek was over for her. “Ooh hot!” screeched the boys. And that one sound that made it feel worth it. Gasp. Gasp.
Mabel was wearing a red tube top with the word “baby” written in fold foil. She wore an incredibly mini mini-skirt. She had strappy red sandals and she dyed her hair cherry chocolate with red and black streaks. She wore a chain necklace, earrings, and a tattoo.
She went to class. History class, she sighed. Mr. Smith looked at her. The teacher’s pet has gone wrong. “Um, Mabel, would you like to read page 12, paragraph 2?” Mabel stared at him. Look, I’m not a kiss-up teacher’s pet girl anymore. I’m a hot, bad girl, she thought. “No.” she said in a snobby tone. She knew how to do this voice perfectly because the popular crew practically created that voice. Mr. Smith looked at her. “Please read the paragraph, Mabel.” Mabel then said, in a snobbier tone, “No.” Mr. Smith turned red. “READ THE PARAGRAPH!” he screamed. “No.” Mabel said like she was tring to be annoying. Mr. Smith then said, “Mabel read the paragraph or else.” Mabel stood up and walked toward him, “Are you threatening me?” she screamed. “Get your backpack and head to the principal’s office. You’re in big trouble, ma’am!” The class roared with “Ooooh!” and “Uh oh!” And what Mabel was waiting for. Gasp. Gasp.
“So, why didn’t you read the paragraph?” asked the principal. Mrs. Harper was sitting at her desk in a light blue business suit, high heels to match, and a messy bun. Mabel stared at her wrinkles. Um…there’s something called Botox, thought Mabel. “I’m waiting to know.” The principal added. The office was so depressing. The desk Mrs. Harper was sitting at was flowing with tattered papers. Pens and pencils were all over the floor. Mabel was sitting on a little pink stool. There was a countertop with coffee mugs and file folders. The carpet looked as though there was a wild party in there. Gum on the floor. “Mabel, are you going to talk or not,” asked the principal. Mabel sighed. “I just didn’t feel like reading.” Mabel put on her puppy dog hoodie. If Mrs. Harper saw Mabel with a tube top, the trouble she was already was in would be doubled. “Tube tops aren’t allowed”, Mrs. Harper would say over and over again. Mrs. Harper rose her eyebrows, “So, why didn’t you feel like reading.” Mabel decided to lie. It was the only way to get out of all this trouble. “Well, I didn’t feel like reading because I was in a bad mood. I felt like crying.” Mrs. Harper suddenly switched from principal mode to therapist mode. “Oh, dear! What happened, Mabel?” Mabel replied as glumly as she can, “Well, I like Robert and now Robert likes Noah and I want him to like me.” Mabel then stated crying for real. By trying to lie, she ended up telling the truth. Mrs. Harper nodded her head, “It’ll be okay, dear. Boys are mysterious people, really they are. Don’t cry please.” Mabel cried and cried. Mrs. Harper reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a mango-flavored lollypop. Mabel took it even though strawberry-flavored lollypops were her favorite. She wiped her tears and left the office.
She went to bathroom to wash her face. Noah walked into the bathroom too. “So, what happened in the office?” asked Noah. Mabel replied, “Nothing. I didn’t get in trouble.” Noah smiled. “That’s good,” Noah giggled. “The whole class was talking about it while we were supposed to be working on our Egypt projects. Everyone thought you got suspended or something.” Noah added. Mabel sighed. She really did miss Noah. Mabel asked, “So, how is it going with Robert?’ Noah shook her head. “All he ever talks about is Amber. I found out he’s using me to get to Amber. So I dumped him during history class.” Mabel felt so bad. “How could we have let one boy ruin our friendship?” Mabel asked sadly. “I missed you so much. There was no one to dip Oreos into chocolate milk with while watching cartoons, no one to play soccer with, no one to watch movies with, no one to bake cookies with, no one to play “hair salon” with. No one to do anything with. Please, please, please, please be my best friend again.” Noah cried. Noah was sobbing. Mabel yelled happily, “Of course I’ll be your friend again!” They hugged and cried.
“Everyone was talking about your geek to chic makeover today,” Noah said. Mabel smiled, “My days as Geek Girl are over!” Noah then added, “The football team was even talking about how hot you looked. And Robert!” Mabel leaped with excitement. She ran over to Robert. “Hey, Robert!” she said in that total flirt tone. Robert looked at her. “You look really hot.!” Mabel giggled. “Wanna go out to the movies this Friday night?” she asked. Robery smiled, “Yeah, sure.”
Friday came and Mabel was throwing clothes out of her closet. Her room was a little small. Her bed, with her pink and lime green bedding, was in the middle, magazines with cut out pictures of celebrities were all over the carpet, and one pink dresser and a desk with a laptop. Her closet was small, which is why most of her clothes were all over the floor. Where is that pink tube top? she wondered. She found her tube top under her bed and pulled it on. She grabbed her high heels and skinny jeans. She put glittery pink eye shadow and sparkly pink lipstick. She headed over to the theatre and walked up to Robert, who waiting inside near the snack area.
“Want popcorn?” asked Robert. Mabel blushed as pink as her lipstick and said, “Yes, please” in her most innocent little girl voice. She has used this voice to get herself out of trouble with her mom. He paid for popcorn and purchased a drink and escorted Mabel to a seat way in the back. Robert sat down and put the popcorn in Mabel’s lap. Mabel smiled weakly. This was her first date ever and she felt so awkward. The movie started and Robert smiled at her. She wasn’t interested in watching ‘Superman strikes again’, but she pretended to be completely interested in it. She sighed and daydreamed about getting married to Robert. She smiled and dozed off. Before she knew it, the dream became beautiful the more she imagined.
“Mabel”, Robert said while shaking her. He cleared his throat, “Wake up, Mabel!” Mabel woke up, still sleepy. “What happened?” she asked, feeling drowsy. Robert frowned. “You missed the whole movie because you fell asleep”, he replied. Mabel widened her eyes. What a jerk I am. The one and only hottie who I loved for so long finally went on a date with me and I fell asleep. Poor guy paid for tickets and snacks and I wasted it all and fell asleep. Fell asleep, she thought. “I’m sorry.” Mabel said. Robert got up and said, “Come on, lets go.” Mabel sighed. The one and only boy she really loved is going to dump her after one date. Just one date! No, she was not going to let him dump her.
They went outside and sat at the bench. Robert was waiting for a taxi to pick them up. Mabel grabbed his arm, “Are you still mad at me?! All I did was fall asleep during the movie! You can’t blame me for being a bit tired. You’re not the one who has to study, play the violin, play the piano, go to soccer practices every day, and still have time to do homework! And then I still have chores and you in my life! So, why are you mad if you can’t understand what I go through every freaking day of my life!” Mabel had yelled this out so loud that everyone waiting for the bus and exiting and entering the theatre could hear. She sounded like a crazy woman who wanted to break up with her husband. Robert stood there, embarrassed as everyone stared at Mabel and Robert. Robert just glared at her and looked down. “I wasn’t mad at you, just a little annoyed. That’s all. But you had to embarrass me in front of all these people.” Mabel shrugged. “I’m really, really sorry, Robert. Please forgive me.” Mable said. Robert hugged her and replied, “Just don’t let it happen again.” They let go and Mabel quietly sad, “Ok.”
Noah called Mabel two hours after she got back from the date with Robert. Noah seemed pretty excited. “So, how did the date go with Robert?” Mabel sighed, “I fell asleep during the movie and he seemed pretty upset and I yelled at him in public like a mad woman with no therapist who wanted to divorce her husband and live alone in a mountaintop in Oregon or something.” Noah giggled, “Don’t tell me you brought up the fact that you practice piano and stuff. And why Oregon? I heard that Wisconsin has pretty nice mountaintops perfect for mad women with no therapist who want to divorce their husband.” Mabel laughed, “This is probably the last time me and Robert will ever go out on a date.”
Is this a good book?pacific theater i ? this story!!!! my only bad comments would be that in the beginning it kinda repeated a little, %26amp; some of the words were misspelled, but change that %26amp; its a super great story!!!!!!! i read it kinda quickly just so that i could comment on how good it was!!! plz finish it or email me the rest finalized if u can!!!! :D
Is this a good book?phantom of the opera opera theaterI love it. Needs some good old Turtle Wax, but would make a wonderful read. Please send me a copy (autographed!) too, please! Report It
It was okay, but the diction was a little bit boring. Some words were used excessively, and the explanations of things dragged just a little. Would this be for an adolescent book because that is what I think it would fit really well into? Otherwise, good job. The characters are a little one sided, your don't get to see much into them except what is explained about them....
Good luck with the writing!! sounds good to me so far!
